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Friday, December 25, 2009

Peace on Earth / Goodwill to All

5 a.m.:






















10 a.m.:

















11 a.m.:

















1 p.m.:

















(The preview of 42 years: a book of changes will resume in the spring)

Here's Oboe with her new blue mouse, a gift from my sister's Bernese Mountain Dog pup:

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Child With Gift / Christmas Eve 2009

















"Child With Gift"
iBookG4 drawing

(page 58)

Richard's sister, Dorothy, sent me the makings of a gumdrop tree. Fun!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

His First Word Was "Light" / 2006 -- 56 years old

















When there was no teacher, life gave us a bridge.

(page 57)

And from the Taittiraya Upanishad:

"From Joy all things are born; by Joy are all things are sustained; to Joy all things return."

Oboe playing Arctic fox. It's cold out there:






















Oboe's cat grass -- a gift from her friends at the art farm:






















Watch someone whose laughter embodies "To Joy all things return."."

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Then I remembered

















This was how I experienced love.
I was innocent of forgiveness.

(page 55)

After several false starts, I was able to begin weaving on my inkle loom last night. The pattern is not the one I had planned. I made a simple mistake as I was putting the warp on the loom last Thursday but didn't notice it until last night. My decision last night was to leave the mistake as it was and see what pattern it produced instead of the little rectangles I had hoped for. Then, as I was weaving, there was a power outage!! Funny, the obstacles that arise when I try to weave this particular pattern. Later, when the lights came back on, I took this photo of Oboe and the inkle loom:






















When I saw this post by Solitary Walker, I remembered the words of an elderly Jewish woman who remarked that, given some of the experiences during her lifetime, she didn't have to be a Christian to be moved by the story of the life and death of Jesus.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Evolution of Forgiveness / 2000 -- 50 years old

















"Talking 48-Hour Day With Roots Gathered From Coincidence"
Gouache and watercolor

(page 50)

loving the silent holy night,
the wild blue sky of day,
the courage of redwood trees,
the beloved ocean
still mirroring our wild hearts ...

(page 51)

And today, with its overcast skies before the winter solstice, is luminous in black and white:






















Listen.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Skeleton Woman / Grasping At Rainbows / Living In The Present -- 2009

















"Skeleton Woman"
Gouache and watercolor

(page 48)

It's been many years since the beginning of my recovery from anorexia, bulimia and compulsive overeating. I wrote "The Door" in the last miserable years that I suffered in secret from compulsive overeating, bulimia and anorexia, and I remember the first holiday season during which I experienced an astonishing freedom from the eating disorders that had manifested early in my life.

Even as a very young child I used sugar as a sedative which gave me temporary relief from acute anxiety. It was only later, when I was 10 years old, that I became obsessed with losing weight, despite the fact that I wasn't overweight. My reality from my earliest memories was that I could not stop eating sugar once I started. I used sugar as a sedative throughout my childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood.

At age 36, I stopped eating foods made with refined sugar and stopped drinking alcohol. The terrible food cravings that allowed for no satiation were lifted. It wasn't easy at first and still isn't easy to live in a world where sweet foods are offered as love and reward, but I have had the support of others recovering from eating disorders for a long time now.

Twice in recent years I have experimented with returning to the use of refined sugar. Both times I found that I lost my appetite for food that wasn't heavily sugared and that I experienced insatiable craving again. Both times I began to suffer from ocular rosacea. Both times, it was very difficult to return to the way of eating that didn't trigger unbearable craving for excess food.

Knowing what I now know about alcoholism, i.e. the craving for alcohol (and for me, massive amounts of food) that is triggered by drinking alcohol, I have not tried experimenting with alcohol again.

Today, December 19, 2009, is cool and foggy in the coastal Pacific Northwest, but the Red-winged Blackbirds are singing this morning. Listen. It almost sounds like spring.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Holy Contradictions / 1982 -- 32 years old

















As we watch through telescopes,
our church of sky, land and sea
fills with healing hands,
human hearts and eyes that shed tears.

(page 47, "In The Church Of The Holy Contradiction, We Look For Tears Through A Telescope")

The gouache and watercolor painting I titled "Speaking Without Words About Holy Contradictions" was already in process in June of 1989 as I heard the first news of the Tiananmen Square Massacre.

Last night before I went to sleep, I unwound two hours of work from my inkle loom so that I can start again:

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Juciest Post - funny sexy girls wearing

Well, it has been a long time since updating this blog. Since Christmas is coming soon, so many update a bit...


Sexy Picnic Dress

How to call this?

If you follow my another blog on the Girls wanna have fun series, here are some others...


Clubbing girls kissing

Girls naked at shopping mall!

All girls birthday party

Girls showing butt

Girl exposed in flyer

And finally, Singapore topless car wash!








Click here for more girls photos

Talking About A Season In The North Country / 1982 -- 32 years old

















We dance away,
overlapping,
shimmering,
surfacing,
we dance.

(page 45, "For Nijinsky")



This morning I got together with three women so we could spend time working on our separate creative projects for a couple of hours. We met at the home of the woman whose idea it was to meet for that purpose. She lives with her husband in a small house on a farm not far from Bellingham. There is a main house and then several small houses that are rented out.

As we were winding down our time together, I noticed that I had made the same mistake I had made with my inkle loom and yarns in February of 2008! To the untrained eye, everything looks fine and dandy,






















but it's the weaving equivalent of building a house without any doors. I'm going to have to unwind the yarn and re-warp the loom so it looks like this, and I can actually begin to weave!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Nursery Rhyme / 1982 -- 32 years old / "May you always know the truth and see the light surrounding you"

















I was never pregnant, but by the time I was 32 years old my friends were beginning to have their babies. One day when I said parallelogram, one of those babies looked at me in surprise and laughed with delight.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Awake and alert / 1982 -- 32 years old

















Twenty-eight years later, I sleep through the night for the most part. It's been a long time since I've seen the hills of childhood. A few days ago, I put my paints under the table and brought out my inkle loom and my palette of cotton rug warp for inkle-woven scarves and belts:

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