OPPORTUNITY

Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity.
(Hippocrates)

The sun rose this morning at 5:07, but the sky was clear and light much earlier than that. There is still cottonwood fluff in the air. The air is cool and breezy.

The minocycline-induced depression and lethargy I've been experiencing is starting to lift. Beginning in November of 2007, I was prescribed minocycline (an antibiotic) for ocular rosacea. I stopped taking it this time last year because of the side effect of severe fatigue. My eyes were fine until late fall of 2007 after I went through an uncharacteristic period of eating large amounts of sugar while I was traveling in California. A friend made a beautiful apple pie, and I didn't want to appear rude by declining to eat a slice. I hadn't eaten sugar since 2005 because I know that when I start eating sugar I have a difficult time stopping. When minocycline was prescribed again for the resulting ocular rosacea, I thought that a lower dose of minocycline wouldn't be a problem. It is a problem.

If possible, I don't ever want to take minocycline again. I'm seeing a naturopathic physician next week, in hopes of learning alternative ways to treat ocular rosacea.

Through trial and error, I know that being careful about the foods I eat helps tremendously. It is clear that heavy doses of sugar trigger rosacea in me. As part of my chosen eating disorder recovery, I didn't eat any refined sugar or chocolate from 1987 to 2005. In 2005, a stressful time, I decided to experiment with using sugar as a sedative again. Once I started eating refined sugar and chocolate, I found it nearly impossible to stop. Every day I would think about eating something excessively sweet. During that time of eating refined sugar and chocolate, I first developed ocular rosacea. At that time I was prescribed steroid eyedrops that have to be used with caution. You'd think I'd learn from that the first time, but I didn't.

Now, when I want to eat something sweet, I eat a small amount of fruit. I absolutely avoid all rosacea triggers for me -- caffeine, spicy food, mushrooms, tomatoes and all of the nightshade family, sugar, chocolate. The list of foods I can't eat goes on and on because other foods trigger migraine headaches. There aren't many foods I can eat anymore, but I thoroughly enjoy the foods I can eat -- rice, beans, most vegetables, olive oil, sesame oil, turkey, berries, and a variety of herbs. When I eat simply, I feel good. I am free of migraine headaches and experience minimal rosacea.

The ophthalmologist told me that I would probably need to take minocycline for the rest of my life. I don't plan to. The side effects of depression and lethargy were severe enough that I was beginning to consider taking an antidepressant, too. I'm convinced that much of my recent disabling depression was caused by the minocycline.

Although I'm still feeling grief in connection with R's death a year ago, that is not the same as the dark depression and extreme fatigue that appeared as a side effect of minocycline. It makes me wonder how many people are prescribed minocycline for rosacea or acne and then encouraged to take antidepressants for the ensuing side effect of depression.